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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28878264">Fire and Ice</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/whotfislarry/pseuds/whotfislarry'>whotfislarry</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Banana Fish (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:33:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,558</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28878264</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/whotfislarry/pseuds/whotfislarry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>So basically I'm heart broken after the banana fish ending so I thought I'd write my own. It's based around the idea that Ash didn't die and that woman in the library saw he was injured and got him help and the events with him and Eiji that follow that. Enjoy ;)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ash Lynx &amp; Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Max Lobo/Jessica Randy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. you had me fucked up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So basically I'm heart broken after the banana fish ending so I thought I'd write my own. It's based around the idea that Ash didn't die and that woman in the library saw he was injured and got him help and the events with him and Eiji that follow that. Enjoy ;)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Low-key struggled writing this first chapter, so my apologies if it seems slightly short or rushed. Not sure how many chapters this will be yet, but i promise they’ll get better!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 1 - you had me fucked up </p><p>The splitting sound of sirens lingered in his ear drums. The sweat and blood trickled down his torso forming in a pool on the mattress of the stretcher. It was all dark, but he could see the faint flashes of red and blue as he began to come around again. He could hear a soft voice whispering to him that ‘Everything was going to be okay.’<br/>
__</p><p>His eyes fluttered open and he was blinded by the harsh, white lights of the hospital cubicle. A small girl dressed in blue scrubs, and her hair clipped back in a messy bunch stood over him. </p><p>“Where am i?”</p><p>“You’re in the hospital, you were involved in an accident. Can you tell me anything you remember?”</p><p>“Eiji” </p><p>“Sorry, could you repeat that? I couldn’t quite hear you.” </p><p>“EIJI, where’s Eiji, I have to speak to him.”<br/>
He shot up in a fit of panic pulling the tube out of his arm and bellowing in agony as he peered down at his torso and saw the blood soaking through the bandage. </p><p>Grasping his shoulders, the nurse desperately pushed him back onto the bed and redressed his wound.<br/>
“Sir Please get back in bed, you need time to heal. Would you like me to call someone for you?” </p><p>“Uh- I- I- yes. My dad Max Lobo.”<br/>
__</p><p>It had been an hour or 2 since the nurse called Max and Ash was starting to get impatient, until he heard a warm voice booming down the corridor.<br/>
“Excuse me, someone please, i’m here to see Ash Lynx.”<br/>
The familiar sound of Max’s voice gave him a sense of relief and sent salt trickling down his cheeks.<br/>
Max burst through the curtain and sprinted over to Ash with a worried expression displayed across his features. </p><p>With tears in his eyes, the only words Ash could muster up were<br/>
“Hey old man.”<br/>
Max chuckles<br/>
“I’m glad you’re safe.” </p><p>“Wh-”<br/>
Before he can speak Max interrupts him,<br/>
“Before you ask, Eiji is okay, he doesn’t know anything, Ibe came up with some lie about their flight being postponed until tomorrow. But you have to talk to him before he leaves Ash.” </p><p>“I know. I will”<br/>
__ </p><p>*ASH HAS BEEN DISCHARGED FROM HOSPITAL AND IS AT HIS APARTMENT WAITING FOR EIJI*</p><p>The frosted wind seeps in under the door, thrusting a stack of takeaway pamphlets onto the floor. Ash shuffles over and bends down to pick them up. The door flies open and Eiji searches around the room frantically looking for Ash not realising he’s on the floor. He takes a step forward and instantly trips over Ash landing face first into the rug. Ash turns around trying not to erupt from laughter and sees Eiji there rubbing the bump on his head. </p><p>With a cheeky grin consuming his face ash says<br/>
“You should be more careful” </p><p>“I should be more careful? I’m not the one who just got stabbed in broad daylight” </p><p>“Oof. I guess I deserved that… I’m sorry.” </p><p>“It’s fine, It’s not your fault I’m clumsy.”</p><p>“No. Not about that. I’m sorry I didn’t come to say goodbye at the airport. I should’ve been there.” </p><p>He wants to say how much ‘it hurt that you weren't there.’ He wants to say that ‘you’re the only one I cared about seeing at the airport.’ He wanted to say that ‘you had me fucked up.’ but instead he settles on.<br/>
“I refuse to say ‘say-yo-na-ra’ to you ash.” </p><p>“I was on my way to you, you know.” </p><p>“What?” </p><p>“Sing brought me that letter you wrote. I was coming to you.”<br/>
He wants to say how special it made him feel. He wants to say how much it hurt and soothed at the same time. He wanted to say that ‘you had me fucked up.’  but the only words that leave his mouth are<br/>
“Thank you.” </p><p>“I meant every word in there, Ash. You’re not the leopard. You can stop this and live that normal life I know that you so desperately yearn for… Come to Japan with me, I can show you my hometown, you can meet my sister, she’d probably faint but it’ll be fun. Please Ash.” </p><p>“Eiji-” </p><p>“Please. Don’t answer me now. Take some time to think about it, as long as you need, but I’ll be waiting.”<br/>
__</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Welp that's a wrap on chapter one. Hope you enjoyed, I'm new to this so if you have any tips or comments then lmk I'd be glad to have a few helpful notes.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. love came in on time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eiji and Ash fly out to Japan together, it's a long journey and who knows what will happen when they're trapped in their seats next to each other for 13 hours ;)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Chapter 2 - Love came in on time </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please. Don’t answer me now. Take some time to think about it, as long as you need, but I’ll be waiting.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>__</span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The subtle sound of airport chaos filled ash’s ears, compelling him with a surprising feeling of contentment. A feeling that was never familiar to him until now. He noticed that he only ever felt this way when he was with Eiji and even though he’d never experienced it before, he knew exactly what it meant. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, are you ready? The gate closes in 20 minutes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His heart was pounding through his chest. The nerves were consuming him and he couldn’t think why, he’s always been so comfortable and safe around Eiji, so why now was he cracking under the pressure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um- i- yeah” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt a warm, soft hand brush against his as Eiji reached over to grab his suitcase. Just the simple graze from Eiji sent tingles rippling through his body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ash? Hellooo? Come on, we don’t wanna miss our flight.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay okay i’m coming” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>__</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He peered out the window at the pearlescent sky, watching the sun slowly disappear behind the mellow clouds. He let out a sigh of relief that his mind finally felt calm, and still. The only thing troubling him now was the lack of control that he felt. He never liked not being in control, but I guess that’s why he became ‘Ash Lynx the boss’. But that wasn’t who he truly was. Deep down at the core he was soft and gooey. Eiji was the only one who saw through the impenetrable front he put up, Eiji was the only one who understood him, and frankly, that scared Ash. Being vulnerable never turned out well for anyone and it frightened him that he might let his guard down and lose the person he cares about most. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you thinking about Ash” sniggered Eiji “scared of heights perhaps?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What- oh- um nothing.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong, you seem on edge.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess it’s just nerves. I mean i’m meeting your family after all.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll love you just as much as i-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“....what” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No- that’s not what i meant- I mean of course i love you you’re my best friend but-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A burning sensation built in ash’s chest, he couldn't believe what Eiji had just said. Weirdly, it consumed him with nothing but happiness. To hear Eiji utter those words, even if he didn’t mean it in the way Ash secretly longed him to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt a grin disperse across his face and it was uncontrollable. He desperately tried to remain serious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked Eiji in the eyes, a smile still beaming from ear to ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, i know what you meant.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>__</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’d been in the air for around 7 hours now and the jet lag was starting to catch up with Ash. He looked to his right and saw Eiji sound asleep, his pinkly rouged cheeks reflecting the icy light from the moon. He looked so innocent and pure sat there, his cheek squashed up against the arm of the chair. The thought of Eiji’s smooth, luscious lips connecting with his consumed him. He had to get himself under control before he wakes up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A glossy layer of sweat settled on ash’s collar bone, glistening in the moonlit cabin of the plane. He ran his fingers through his fluffy, blonde hair attempting to cool himself down. He turned back around to see Eiji admiring him shamelessly with a twinkle in his eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry for staring, you just look so majestic in the moonlight.” </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>What?! Why would i say that, what is wrong with me? </em>
  </b>
  <span>thought Eiji, instantly regretting his last statement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There it is again, that intense burning sensation that fills his chest, and those thoughts, Eiji’s peach tinged lips, so defined and inviting. But he tries his hardest to suppress his feelings, he can’t ruin it now, not when things just got good again, especially not when they’re trapped in mid-air together for 6 more hours. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it” He smiles </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I don’t know if i’ll be able to control myself around him much longer</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>__</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash is woken by the sounds of the muffled radio</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Alright folks, we’re about to fly through some turbulence, so if you could please remain seated and fasten your seatbelts.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks over at Eiji who is once again fast asleep. He can’t shake this dark feeling that in an alternate world where him and Eiji never met that he would be in a completely different place, that he would be a completely different person. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Eiji, he could feel himself slipping away, slipping deeper into the crevices of his own mind, the all consuming thoughts that never seemed to leave him. He can’t help but feel grateful towards Eiji, grateful that love came in on time. The love that he has for Eiji that saved him from being consumed by everything he’s been through. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly a hot trickle of salt comes streaming down his cheek, he quickly wipes it away with his sleeve but this time he isn’t embarrassed, he doesn’t feel vulnerable, the only word to describe it is freedom. Love really did come in right on time to save him. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The end of chapter 2 ig, chapter 3 will be out asap, lmk if you're enjoying the story so far.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. When everything's perfect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ash and Eiji arrive in Tokyo where things start to heat up between them.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was a fun chapter to write. It's a little short again but trust the process :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The plane came to a sudden stop causing ash to wake with a fright. He sat up to see Eiji winding the cord of his earphones around his phone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What were you listening to?” he asks in a genuinely curious tone </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Loving is easy, by rex orange county.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think I’ve heard that before c-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s interrupted by the muffled radio once again chiming for an announcement. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Please make sure you gather up all of your belongings, anything left behind on the plane will be thrown away.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The loud click of the aeroplane door opening startles him, and they both proceed to scramble for their stuff and head towards the exit. As soon as he takes a step onto the concrete of the runway he is greeted with an affectionate and inviting breeze that makes him feel utterly relaxed. He feels so at home even though he’s so far away from it. His once tense muscles release themselves and give in to the subdued atmosphere of Tokyo taking control of his every last fear. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He takes a deep breath, tasting the sweet scent of tranquility that lingered in the air. He glances over at Eiji who is looking back at him with a kind of smile that he’s never seen before. He’s seen leers of manipulation and the classic smile meaning goodbye but never this. It was a smile of reassurance and genuine care that forced him to feel completely safe and at ease. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eiji waves aggressively, still beaming at Ash. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on what are you waiting for?! We made it Ash, we’re really here!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The sheer excitement he senses in Eiji’s tone sends him into an episode of merriment and he can’t help but smile brighter and harder than ever before. He saunters over to where Eiji is standing holding all the luggage like some sort of porter. He takes his suitcase and ruffles Eiji’s hair as a friendly gesture, but is left blushing by the floral scent of cherry blossoms that lingers on his fingertips. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He whispers under his breath in a raspy tone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You smell so good”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Shit. Did I say that out loud?! </em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>*THIS CHAPTER WILL INCLUDE MORE FROM EIJI’S PERSPECTIVE :)*</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pretends not to hear but really the words Ash mumbled make his stomach flutter. It was such a simple compliment but the sultry whisper in which it was said made the hairs on his arms stand on end. They’d never had the type of friendship where they would compliment each other regularly. So maybe it was the unfamiliarity of such a kind and warm remark leaving ash’s lips that made him feel so </span>
  <b>
    <em>good. </em>
  </b>
  <span>His thoughts twist and tangle together but he stops himself when he sees Ash’s cheeks flushing red with embarrassment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He fills the silence, avoiding the comment Ash made that he clearly is now regretting. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So the next bus should be due in around 40 minutes so we could stop off at a coffee shop while we wait?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure that sounds nice.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>__</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The cozy amber light of the coffee shop that hangs above their heads in the booth shines down illuminating the jaded irises of Ash’s eyes. He can’t help but get lost in the emerald greenness before him, as if he’s in a trance. He swallows the lump in his throat with a harsh gulp quickly breaking eye contact with Ash. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So-” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They both stop and let out a quick chuckle that echoes through the stillness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You first.” says Eiji grinning contently </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That song you were telling me about. Can I listen?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eiji pulls his phone out from his coat pocket and unwinds the wire of his earbuds, handing the left bud to Ash. He unpauses the song and the melody of the chorus flows through their ears and they look each other in the eyes for a moment. His deep, rich eyes met by Ash’s vibrant jaded ones yet again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Loving is easy </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You had me fucked up </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It used to be so hard to see </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>yeah, loving is easy</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>When everything’s perfect </em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Please don’t change a single little thing for me</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“When everything’s perfect... I think I can relate to that now.” Ash’s voice is so calm and monotone </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Really? How so?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s when I’m with you. I feel so free.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s shocked by Ash’s bluntness but in a good way. A feeling that he can only describe as pure happiness floods his mind, igniting a subtle smirk that lights up his eyes. He couldn’t have put it better himself in the way Ash makes him feel, but he’s almost disappointed that he didn’t have the courage to say it himself. He doesn’t quite yet understand why he feels so </span>
  <b>
    <em>good</em>
  </b>
  <span> around Ash, all he knew was that right now in this moment everything really was </span>
  <b>
    <em>perfect. </em>
  </b>
  <span>He gazes over to Ash who’s pink lips have curled up into a smirk. They’re sat so close in the booth that he can feel the sensation of Ash’s hot breath on his neck that sends shivers down his spine. All he can think about is their lips touching in a moment of passion and the sheer thought flushes his cheeks with a harsh pink tinge. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ash notices his blatantly obvious blush and it makes him smile even more. He looks from Eiji’s eyes to his lips, then back up to his chocolatey brown irises. He strokes his thumb along the strong defined ridge of Eiji’s jaw line, admiring every last inch of his features. He stops as he reaches Eiji’s lips and gently runs his finger across them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>I don't know how much longer I'll be able to control myself around him. </em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <span>He leans in closely, throwing Eiji a glance as if to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘is this okay?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Eiji nods and the next minute their lips touch ever so gently, his left hand resting around Eiji’s neck. Feelings of happiness, safety and perfection fulfil their desires that they’ve both been longing for this whole time. He releases Eiji from his gentle grasp and they share a moment of plain stillness just staring at each other and trying to savour every last second of the sweet kiss they briefly shared together. They smiled back at one another basking in this moment of bliss perfection. The lyrics of the song, still prominent in their minds </span>
  <b>
    <em>‘When everything’s perfect.’ </em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Nothing I do is ever good enough.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Focuses on Sing Soo-ling and his encounters with Lao after what he did to Ash.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: SUICIDE. I wanted to do a story line for Sing Soo-ling so here it is. Please take care of yourselves, don’t read if this will cause you any harm or stress.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>*THIS WHOLE CHAPTER WILL BE FROM SING’S PERSPECTIVE.*</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I couldn’t shake the thought that this was all my fault. Even though Ash made it out alive and safe, Lao used to be one of my guys. My responsibility, and we nearly lost Ash because of him. I never asked for this, to become a boss, if i had a choice then I would’ve said no. I just wish Shorter was here to guide me. He always knew the exact right thing to say in a situation, he would’ve known exactly what to say to calm Lao down and stop him from leaving that day in the subway station. I had one job and I fucked it up. Ash was never one to hold grudges, but something in me wanted him to because somehow I thought that would make me feel less guilty. I wouldn’t stand a chance against Ash and I've never denied that. I just wish I could experience the amount of respect his guys have for him. I never understood why people were so quick to follow him until that night at the mental institution where I watched as he lit Shorter's corpse aflame. He holds this power that no one can deny. I was angry and upset that he killed Shorter but somehow when I looked into Ash’s eyes I knew there was a reason for it and quite frankly I didn't have the desire to know what that reason was. I wanted to remember Shorter in all his glory before we lost him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>__</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I stood on the ash coated pavement, kicking the green leaves that grew between the cracks. I waited nervously for his arrival. In all honesty i didn’t think he’d actually show, i was kind of hoping that he wouldn't because i had no idea what i was going to say.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>My thoughts were interrupted by the muffled sound of heavy footsteps getting louder and louder as they headed my way. I sharply turned my head to the left to see Lao standing there leaning against the wall, he held his gaze onto mine so harshly I felt like he was piercing a hole through my skull. We stood there silently, neither of us easing our glare until his raspy voice tore through the silence. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why am I here Sing?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His question puzzled me. Was he really trying to act dumb, word of what he did spread like wildfire, there’s no way he couldn’t of guessed why I called him out here to talk. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know exactly why you’re here, don’t play dumb with me.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not playing dumb. I know what I did, but I thought I made myself very clear when I said </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m out.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t go around stabbing gang bosses. Do you have a death wish? You do realise how powerful Ash is right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t tell me what to do anymore Sing, I’m prepared for whatever shit Ash Lynx throws at me, and I don't need you to look out for me either.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This isn’t what Shorter would’ve-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before I can finish my sentence he interrupts me, I can hear the clenching of his jaw as he speaks. I look down at his once relaxed hands hanging down by his sides, now clenched in a fist. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t give me that bullshit. Shorter isn’t here now. He’s dead. And that’s the whole point. I can’t believe you’d let yourself get pushed around by Ash fucking Lynx. The guy who killed his </span>
  <em>
    <span>best friend</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I never expected you of all people to ignore what he’s done. You lost all my respect the moment you decided to forgive him so easily.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His words hit close to home in a way I never thought they would, affecting me more than I’d hoped, it fueled the already insecurities and doubts I had about myself. He walks off back down the dark alleyway he came from this time his footsteps lighter. His words linger in my mind for a few seconds. I can’t help but wonder if he’s right. Am I doing the right thing by letting this all go so easily. I really admired Shorter, I aspired to be a boss like him one day, but now that I finally had the opportunity it wasn’t  as </span>
  <em>
    <span>awesome</span>
  </em>
  <span> as it appeared to be from the outside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>__ </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I decide to take a stroll after my tense meetup with Lao. I wander the streets of Chinatown admiring the fluorescent lights that hang across the street lamps, and the calming chatter of voices that echo through the serenity. The strong scent of egg rolls and fried chicken drifted through the air, caressing my nostrils. I found myself following the sweet smell until I landed on a familiar doorstep. I looked up to the flashing red and green sign that illuminated the words </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘chang dai restaurant’</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I hadn’t been able to face Nadia since we lost Shorter. She must think I’m a coward. I shot behind the tall streetlight hoping that she wouldn’t see me through the window. I watched her as she gathered glasses from the tables, scooping them onto a tray. Her face was flat, and her complexion grey, she looked so sad and empty. But who can blame her, she lost her brother after all. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That overwhelming sense of guilt came flooding in again. I know it’s not my fault that Shorter isn’t here, but it was my responsibility to stand in for him when he left. I remember he asked me to take care of his family if anything were to happen to him, and i haven’t lived up to that request at all. I didn’t ask for this, it wasn’t what I wanted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Nothing I do is ever good enough</em>
  </b>
  <span>. Maybe it would be better if I wasn’t here, and the spot of the boss of Chinatown was left open for someone who knows what he’s doing, someone like Lao. I don’t want people to view me the way I view myself, weak and unworthy. I’m unworthy of this role, I’m too weak to challenge Ash. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>__</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>My eyes flutter open, the harsh light from the sunrise shines in blinding me. I lay there for a moment watching the golden rays slowly but surely pierce through my blinds illuminating the whole room. The light fades in and out, reminding me of simpler days in my childhood where I would wander over to central park and lay between the soft green blades. It was soothing and still, not a single sound apart from the muted tones of the leaves of the trees rustling together through the branches. I imagine that this is what death would feel like. Peaceful. Quiet. Calm. Still. It seems so inviting to think about. The chaos of daily life would stop and all that would be left was me and my eternal thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span> I drown out the noise of passing cars and sirens flying by. I crawl my way out of bed, sitting up to stare at my murky grey walls covered with graffiti and posters. I unplug my phone from my bedside table to see 3 missed calls from Lao. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What does he want now. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I exhale deeply, grabbing my jeans off the floor from yesterday and jumping into them. I throw on my blue and white bomber along with the shirt I slept in, forcing my feet into my trainers, I grab my keys and begin dialing Lao’s number into my phone as I step outside. A warm breeze instantly blew through me, I breathe in shutting my eyes to try and savour that feeling of peace before I can bring myself to face Lao again. He answers quickly whispering down the other end of the line at me. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Meet me on madison park lane, 10 minutes.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hangs up the phone abruptly, giving me no choice but to do as he says. I dawdle along idly, trying to avoid my own thoughts. There’s still that loud voice in my head calling me weak and useless, that the world would just be a better place without me. I finally find myself at the corner of Madison park waiting. I walk up to the roof that overlooks the skyscrapers ahead. To my surprise I see Lao standing there, his arms folded on the concrete ledge staring out at the people walking beneath him. I quietly edge my way through the heavy metal doors, keeping my footsteps light so he doesn’t hear me. I hide behind the tall concrete pillar but he glances to the left and sees me standing there. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You came.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well you didn’t really give me a choice.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The low light of the winter sun reflects off of his cheeks highlighting the tear streaming down his face. I didn’t know how to react, I’d never seen him so vulnerable before, that wasn’t really the type of dynamic we had in the gang. I go to say something but he beats me to it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...what?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t make me say it again. This is already embarrassing enough. I know sorry isn’t going to cut it for everything I’ve done, I didn’t trust your judgement and I walked away taking matters into my own hands without knowing the full story.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>speechless. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I don’t know what I was expecting from him calling me out here today, but it </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>wasn’t this. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re right sorry doesn’t cut it. This only works out if we trust each other. But we’re like brothers Lao and you know that, there’ll always be a space for you with us in Chinatown.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He remains silent. Not even letting out a single breath before he climbs over the concrete ledge, his legs left hanging in mid air, I watch him as his once tight grip loosens until he isn’t holding on anymore. He mumbles something to me that I just about hear before he disappears from my vision. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>“I can’t do this anymore, it’s all my fault” </em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He slips over the edge of the tall building, I sprint over but it’s too late, he tumbles to the ground as I watch knowing there’s nothing I can do. He seemed so at peace, his eyes rolled back into his head and wind blowing through his shirt, he didn’t seem scared, he looked the most relaxed I've ever seen him. He didn’t scream, not a single ounce of regret displayed across his features as I watched him drift towards the ground. We were on the 26th floor, so I knew there was no chance of survival. I felt so hopeless knowing I couldn't save him, I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, the guilt eating me up as if I could've done something to help him. I never knew what he was going through, after we lost Shorter. I should’ve noticed. I squinted my eyes, a drip of salt bursting through as he reached the last few centimeters of the drop. The heavy crack of him hitting the floor made me squirm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <span>I steadily ran down the steps of the tower, knowing that with my track record, if I was caught up here they’d think I pushed him. Fully fledged tears welled in my eyes, I could no longer contain them. As I reached the exit door round the back I crashed to my knees, holding my palms in front of my eyes to mask my vulnerability. My grief was quickly interrupted by the unignorable sound of ambulance sirens. I stumbled to my feet, fleeing the scene. Seeing Lao like this made me want to stay. No matter how much shit I had to deal with from now on I made myself a vow to never give up, if not for myself, then for </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lao. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. When you can't even hide it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>back to Ash and Eiji now :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Chapter 5 - When you can’t even hide it </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Ash lynx </em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I stayed there for a moment, staring into his deep and meaningful entities ahead of me, still in surprise of the moment we just shared together. I watched as his cheeks flared up into a vibrant pink colour which sparked a mischievous grin across my features. I chuckled under my breath as I kept my eyes on him in deep embarrassment. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re blushing.” I murmur in a sultry tone, I gaze at him as he continues to squirm in his seat. I can’t help but laugh. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t point it out, you’re making me nervous.” He timidly admits, but his last sentence makes my heart shudder. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>I make him nervous. </em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that so?” I smirk uncontrollably dismissing my attempts to comfort him while he still fidgets before me. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He avoids my question, but I expected him to. Instead I change the subject, his weary expression igniting a slight guilt in my mind. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So what time does that bus get here then?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We should probably head off now, if we want to make it in time.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I nod standing up from my position in the booth, signalling my hand for him to go ahead of me. He quickly scuttles out from the back of the booth just brushing past me. I can’t help but shiver as his quick, unsteady movements send a brush of cool air in my direction. He leads the way out of the quiet secluded coffee shop, taking me towards the green bus stops in the distance. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I glance over at him looking to admire his soft features, but I see his eyes go wide as he looks ahead of him, now quickening up his pace as he walks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s wron-” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He interrupts me in a startled tone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The bus! It’s here” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He grasps my hand, keeping his grip tight around my fingers. I can’t help but notice how small and delicate his hand looks in mine. We run at a steady pace down the street hand in hand like a jig-saw puzzle. Almost as if our hands were </span>
  <em>
    <span>made</span>
  </em>
  <span> for each other. Luckily, we made it to the bus with just enough time to spare as several people were lined up ahead of us also waiting to get on. He lets go of my hand, bringing it to the back of his neck and swiping the thin layer of perspiration from his skin. I watch as the sweat trickles down his collarbone almost mesmerized. Even though he’s sweating the musky smell of his cologne still lingers in the air around us. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I shiver at the scent.  </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s suddenly our turn to get on and Eiji wastes no time in getting on and mumbling something to the driver in japanese. He pulls our tickets from the dispenser and hurries down the bus to an unoccupied double seat. He gently sits down and pats his hand on the seat next to him, gesturing me to place my body next to his. I swallow the lump in my throat as the close proximity to him takes me back to the kiss we shared in the booth together just 5 minutes ago. We stayed silent for the rest of the bus ride, but it wasn’t awkward, I’d glance over at Eiji every now and then, his eyes fixated out of the window as if he was avoiding eye contact with me. He still held a flustered look on his face so I assumed he was still trying to recover from the intimate moment we shared together. I was unsure of whether to feel flattered of his consistent awkwardness or disheartened that he was clearly uncomfortable with what had happened between us. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't realise we had arrived at our destination. Eiji’s arm stretched out across me in order to press the stop button. He nudged at my outer thigh signifying me to get up and let him out as he was in the window seat. I stood up and trotted down the bus, wheeling my suitcase behind me. Eiji soon followed, muttering another word I didn't understand to the driver as we stepped off the bus. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Arigato.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I looked around at my surroundings, completely amazed at how beautiful it was. There were endless rolling hills of green that stretched across acres and acres. To top it off the sun was setting low, it’s final vibrant orange embers disappearing for the day and making way for the bright luminescence of the moon. I turned around and Eiji was waiting for me with a huge grin across his face. I stumbled over to him and to my surprise he grasped my hand again,</span>
  <em>
    <span> interlocking</span>
  </em>
  <span> our fingers this time. I rapidly turned my head to meet his eyes, shocked by the sudden contact of our hands. He was already looking at me, still smiling. My wandering worries from the bus were instantly shut down as I realised he felt comfortable with me now and that filled me with a warm and fuzzy feeling. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>I didn't know I was capable of that 'warm and fuzzy' feeling. </em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>We continued down the cobbled path, passing all the content little houses our fingers still intertwined. The sun was shining on us from the front illuminating all our features. I looked over at Eiji again and he must’ve sensed my eyes on him as he turned his head almost in unison with mine. I curled my lips into a genuine smile, the short term serotonin I felt in that moment was overpowering and I couldn’t suppress that wholesome feeling any longer. Eiji’s lips stayed formed in a line as he studied my face. I felt my cheeks flush red as he was staring at me so intensely. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I never get all flustered like this. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He turned his head back around as he noticed the redness in my cheeks and we persisted with our pace down the long concrete stretch ahead of us </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>__</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>We arrived at a petite house on the corner of the street. The door was a bright red colour which instantly drew my attention. Eiji scurried up to the gate, busting it wide open and ringing the doorbell to the side. I tried to calm my nerves as we waited there anxiously for someone to answer the door. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This was it, the moment I meet his family. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I wanted to make a good first impression. I ran my fingers through my hair pushing it back and straightening out my shirt, quickly trying to adjust my appearance. The door edged open, and to my surprise I saw no one stood in the doorway until I lowered my gaze to a small girl standing there with a bright smile on her face. She looked creepily identical to Eiji just with longer hair and slightly lighter eyes that looked like honey when they caught the sun. She jumped up to her brother wrapping her bare feet around his waist as he carried her back inside. I grabbed both of our luggage and carried it through the threshold, closing the door behind me. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I looked around quickly, taking it all in. There were a few baby pictures of Eiji hung up all over the walls. I chuckled into the back of my throat at the sight of them. I could feel a pair of eyes glaring at me and I turned to see it was the small child peering at me over Eiji’s shoulder. She seemed worried at first and i couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but sooner than later her mouth curled into a toothy smile, that reminded me of Eiji’s, forcing me to smile back. He put her down and she scurried off into the depths of the house. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>We both took off our shoes and placed them on a small wooden rack by the door. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on, help me take the bags up.” I heard Eiji say in the distance. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I picked up my luggage and followed him up the stairs to a small room with 2 mattresses laying side by side on the floor. I guess this was where we’d be sleeping for the next few days. We placed our bags just by the door and Eiji turned to leave until my eyes caught a picture of Eiji on the desk deeper into the room. I wandered over to it to get a closer look. It was an action shot of Eiji pole vaulting wearing a yellow sports jersey, I couldn't help but smile. It reminded me of that day he saved me from Arthur by jumping over that wall, but it also took me back to watching skipper dive in front of Marvin’s bullet that was meant for me. I suddenly felt a warm hand placed on my upper back. I turned around to see Eiji standing there, his lips formed into a line. I looked into his eyes and it was as if he knew what I was thinking just by the expression on my face. He curled his lips into an unsteady smile, I nodded back in response to show him that I was okay. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s go for a walk.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before I could respond he grabbed my forearm and started pulling me towards the door. We hurried down the stairs, flinging open the red door once again. The sky was dark now, but not completely to still see the pink embers of the sun slowly fading beneath the hills. We kept our pace, speed-walking along the concrete path until we reached a small convenience store with a white, flashing open sign hung on the glass door. He pulled me over to the curb and sat down, patting the ground between his legs, gesturing me to sit between them. In slight shock I obliged and sat on the edge of the road, his knees either side of my head as he sat slightly higher on the curb. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I’ve never been this close to him before. I crossed my ankles and leant my palms on the concrete behind me, being very strategic in my hand placements to avoid accidentally touching him. I muster up the courage to finally speak. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What are we doing here?” I asked, cocking my head back to meet his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I used to come here a lot after I hurt my foot. For some reason this place always managed to bring me comfort. I don’t know what it was, but no one really comes here so it’s quiet, it’s a good place to go if you just want a breather to be alone with your thoughts.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah…I get that. But most of the time i’m not trying to be alone in my own head, i’m trying to escape it.” I turn away to look straight ahead of me, slightly regretting my choice of words. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I could sense his eyes on the back of my head, my cheeks going red as I anxiously awaited a response. I had a slight hope that he would understand and not say anything at all. I watched as he parted his lips as if going to speak, but he didn’t. Instead he raised his hand to my head, ruffling my hair slightly. I smiled at the gesture, that filled my chest with that warm feeling again. We both stared out silently at the fading sky ahead of us. Eiji was right, this was a good place to go to clear your head, but all I could think about was the moment we had in the booth together. My thoughts of bliss were interrupted when I felt a hand on my chin, forcing me to toss my head back to look at him. He brought his forehead close to mine. I shut my eyes in anticipation of what he was going to do. I waited for a minute until I opened my eyes again to see his pinched shut and his cheeks flared up as if he was battling the urge. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey…what is it?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m nervous.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His innocent words made me snigger under my breath. I grasped the back of his neck, pulling his head forward so he was an inch away from my face. I puckered my lips against his, leading him in to kiss me. I felt his face relax as he smiled into the kiss. The thought of his smile alone gave me goosebumps. I gently grasped the hair at the back of his head as he stroked the pad of his thumb across my cheek bone. I was so sensitive to his soft touch. </span>
  <b>
    <em>I can’t even hide it anymore.</em>
  </b>
  <span> I knew that this moment on the side of the road, sat between his legs was a moment that I would replay in my mind forever. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Please don't change a single little thing for me.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapters a little short bc I rushed it so my apologies, but it’s also my favourite one ngl.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Eiji Okumura </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My nerves always get the best of me. I wanted to do this for him, to show him that It’s what I want as well. I didn’t want him to feel like it was one-sided because...well...it isn’t. When his blonde locks get pushed around in the sweet breeze, when the light of the sun catches his eyes and they shine just that little bit brighter, when he smiles, and I mean </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>really</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> smiles, not that goofy little smirk he does, but his genuine smile. All I want is to see him happy and I'm mad at myself for not plucking up the courage to make the first move. I guess I’ll just have to wait for another opportunity to sit on the side of the road holding you close, Ash. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>__</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I pulled away from his hold and immediately I felt the heat in my cheeks. You know when you’re so embarrassed that you could cry? Well that’s exactly how I was feeling at that moment. I desperately tried to pluck his fingers away from the back of my neck so I wouldn’t be forced to hold eye contact any longer, the nerves were eating me up. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Seriously what is wrong with me? </span>
  </em>
  <span>My attempts only made him tighten his grip so I eventually gave in. He stared deeply into my eyes and I couldn’t help but stare back. I could drown in the deep green sea of his irises and I would thank him. I peered back down at his lips and as I did a smirk crept up from the corner of his mouth. Suddenly I had an idea of where we could venture to next</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, I wanna show you something else.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Where are we going?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a surprise.” I grin through my words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I grabbed his forearm and yanked him to his feet. It was a cool night, soft flushes of wind blew through my clothes and I felt the fluster in my cheeks die down. I raised my trembling hand and pressed it up against his. His hand was cold, but it was refreshing, all I could picture was his soft, fingertips grazing down my shoulders and sending shivers through my body. The thought alone made me grip his hand a little tighter. I squeezed his palm 3 times teasingly and kept my gaze forward, but I could feel his eyes on me and I just knew he was smirking too. We strolled along the pavement, not a single sound to be heard apart from the distant murmur of cars passing by and the rustle of the branches in the cold breath of the dark. I peered down at our shoes, walking so close together. I’ve always thought that you can tell a lot from people’s shoes. I’ve always had my trusty brown leather dress shoes, but looking at Ash side by side made me realise how different we really were. He had black converse on with white trimming around the base and white laces that looked like they’d been through a lot to say the least. His shoes were dirty but they always looked in good shape, although his laces were never tied. Ash’s shoes make me think of someone who is lost. Someone who is lost but they’re searching, and that’s what makes me so drawn to Ash, he doesn’t give in so easily, he’s strong considering everything he’s been through and I hope that he never changes.</span>
  <b> I pray that he won’t change a single little thing for me. </b>
  <span>I’m not strong like Ash, I like to think I am, but all I know is if I’d suffered the same things he had I wouldn’t be anything like the person I am today, but Ash turned his negative experiences into ammunition to fuel the passion and sincerity that makes him the person I’m proud to call my bestfriend.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, we’re getting close close your eyes” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I watch carefully as he does as I say, making sure he Isn’t peeking. I stand behind him, holding his shoulders to guide him in the right direction. As I see the bright, glowing lights of the sign come into view I start walking us a little faster towards it until we’re stood right at the entrance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Open your eyes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pauses and stares up at the sign for a moment before bringing his gaze back to me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is this place?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a theatre. I used to come here a lot because my dad’s friend owns the place.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And why did you bring me here?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well...follow me and you’ll see.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I lead him in through the heavy, arched doorway and we’re met with complete darkness. I pull down the handle on the left and instantly the room is lit up with a vibrant blue light that illuminates the small stage and empty rows of velvet chairs all facing it. I look over to Ash and watch as he glares in awe of the perfect setting in front of him. The blue light shines on the right side of his face, making his features look so defined and flawless. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He really is beautiful</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His eyes look darker than usual, but there’s still that charming twinkle that never fails to make me smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pretty cool right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mhmm.” he hums in amusement. “Are we allowed to be here?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I already told you my dad’s friend owns this place, he won’t mind. Since when did you care about breaking the rules anyway.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t. I’m just thinking of you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>sweetie</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His words made me shiver. He rarely calls me sweetie but when he does I can’t help but get all flustered. He knows what he’s doing which just makes it all the more frustrating, he has this hold on me and no matter what I can’t seem to shake it. I know I do the same to him though which I guess makes all of this worth it, all this messing around until one day one of us has the guts to actually do something about this mutual feeling we have between us. I’m pretty sure that day won’t be for a long time, but if it does come and</span>
  <em>
    <span> when</span>
  </em>
  <span> it comes I’ll welcome it with open arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I roll my eyes at his comment trying to mask the way I really feel and continue to walk down the middle aisle to the stage. He follows behind me, up onto the stage and we plonk ourselves down in the middle of the blue spotlight shining down. I sat cross-legged with my hands placed firmly in my lap, while he placed his palms on the ground and legs straight out ahead of him. We sit calmly in silence until he interrupts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know what we need? We need music.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I furrow my eyebrows and look at him confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What for?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To dance of course.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He winks at me and walks off behind the curtain. When he returned he was carrying a large black speaker with a cord dangling out of the end. He plugs it into his phone and resumes his last position, turning his head so his eyes meet mine again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Any requests?” He grins. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um… not that I can think of off the top of my head.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got it! I know the perfect song.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I arch one of my eyebrows still confused as to what he’s trying to do until I hear the familiar sound of the piano chords and the steady beat of the drums. I can feel my heart start to pulse faster, a huge smile I can’t contain spreads from ear to ear as I gaze at him in fascination. I guess he really liked the song. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Loving is easy </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You had me fucked up </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>It used to be so hard to see </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Yeah, loving is easy</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>When everything’s perfect </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m surprised you even remembered.” I smile brightly up at him still in awe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How could I forget? This is </span>
  <em>
    <span>our</span>
  </em>
  <span> song now sweetie.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Our song</span>
  </em>
  <span>. We have a song now? Am I dreaming? I tried my best to hide it but his words made me excited, happy, confused. I didn’t know how to feel, and I felt like I was overreacting, but it meant a lot to me that he even remembered the title of the song in the first place. It brought me comfort, knowing that there’s a possibility he feels as strongly for me as I do for him. I’ve never had a </span>
  <em>
    <span>song</span>
  </em>
  <span> with someone before. It feels like everyday that my feelings for Ash keep growing and growing and right now I honestly couldn’t see myself without him. I keep thinking back to that time i awkwardly told him I loved him by accident and now I’m starting to think that-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get up. Dance with me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He interrupts my thoughts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Oh no- I can’t da-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before I can even finish my sentence he grabs my hand and pulls me up to my feet, I stand awkwardly in front of him, my hands still in his. He stares at me with a smile on his face. That genuine smile I love so much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Relax Eiji, it’s just me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We start swaying to the beat together, with our fingers intertwined. He shakes my arms left to right playfully, laughing under his breath as he did so. He swirled me around, pulling me in towards his chest so that my back was facing him and his arm was across my collar bone, locked in place. We gently move back and forth along with the beat. I nuzzle my head into his neck, as he bends down and places his forehead against my shoulders. I can feel the warmth of his body heat pressed against mine as we sway slowly together. I close my eyes, doing anything to savour this moment together, a moment of pure serenity, trying to remember every feeling and sensation. His hot breath on the side of my neck made the hairs on my arms stand up. Suddenly he leaned his head back up and spun me out of his arms so we were facing each other now, inches away. He stared into my eyes while I stared back into his jaded entities. He was completely expressionless and I couldn’t read what he was thinking. It made me feel uneasy and I wondered if I’d done something wrong until I felt his huge arms wrap around me in a tight embrace, soothing my doubtful thoughts. Our body heat radiated between us. I rested my head on his shoulder again, as he ran his fingers through the back of my hair. I was worried that he’d be able to hear my heart beating like a drum against his chest but I didn’t care. I just wanted to feel his warmth and touch against me as the music still played. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Please don’t change a single little thing for me</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Inferno</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>They finally establish their feelings towards each other ;)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Ash Lynx</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I held him in my arms until the song ended, praying that this moment could last forever. I could feel his heart beating against my chest, but it was comforting, comforting to know that he felt just as nervous under my touch as I did under his. My feelings have grown so much in such a short amount of time, it’s like this infinite flame that burns in my heart whenever he’s around. An </span>
  <b>
    <em>inferno</em>
  </b>
  <span> that I can’t seem to get under control. It’s like Eiji made a nest in my heart and chose to live there. He’s all I think about, every second of the day and it scares me. I hate myself at the fact that I can’t just let go and enjoy Eiji, but there’s a constant thought that lingers in my mind of losing him or hurting him enough so he leaves me forever.  I’m no good for him. How can someone like Eiji feel fulfilled spending their life with someone like me? A sudden wave of guilt rushed over me and I felt my face drop as I spun him around and glanced at his smile, our faces inches away. I clenched my jaw and furrowed my brows as I closed my eyes. What am I doing? I’m prone to self sabotage and I know I couldn't live with myself if I happened to bring Eiji down with me. I opened my eyes and gazed into his rich irises, he still had a toothy grin plastered on his face, I forced myself to suppress the urge I had to bring our lips together. His smile sank as he noticed the disheartened expression on my face. It broke my heart to see his smile fade, but if I end this now it’ll be better for him in the long run. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ash…? What’s wrong?” His eyes were wide with concern as he gazed up at me, placing his soft hands against my cheeks. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I shrugged him off and met his worried eyes with cold, emotionless ones. I had to make him hate me so he’d realise he deserves better. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This has to stop.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh- what” His voice cracked as he dropped his hands from their placement on my cheeks. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you really think this could work out between us? If you know what’s good for you you’ll leave me be.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ash, don’t do this.” He shook his head and exhaled through his nose before returning to look at me. “Don’t ruin this, you aren’t going to hurt me.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How do you know that? Everyone I care about ends up getting hurt, first skip then shorter, I can’t lose you too. I’m no good for you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t get to decide what’s good for me Ash, I can look after myself. You just have to stop blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His words left me frozen. His eyes were lit up with frustration that I’d never received from Eiji before. I wanted to hold him more than ever and tell him I’m sorry, but I can’t do this to him, he doesn’t belong with someone like me. I’ve led him on all this time. I was stupid to think that ths could ever work without my past messing it up like it always does. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll leave you and I’ll stop trying if you give me one good reason that isn’t to do with me deserving better.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I thought to myself for a moment, locking my eyes with his. He knew that there was no other reason, but he has to understand that being with me means he’ll never have a ‘normal’ life, which is what he deserves. After everything I've put him through, this is where our story should end before I end up breaking his heart in two. I mustered up the courage and looked him dead in the eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want you.” I clamped my eyes shut after I spoke, attempting to absorb the unshed tears that were welling up in my waterline. Pursing my lips, I opened my eyes to meet his stare. I surveyed his face trying to read his expression but it was flat and lifeless. All of a sudden he pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his eyes with the pad of his fingers whilst a grin arose across his plump lips. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Really? That’s the best you’ve got? I don’t believe that for a second.” He chuckled under his breath, before grasping my hand and interlocking our fingers again. My palms were clammy with the nerves but he didn’t seem phased. He pulled me towards him and wrapped his arm around my lower back so I arched into him before planting a soft, wet kiss on my jawline as I gazed down at him in awe. He spun around and grabbed my wrist to pull me towards the door. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I was shocked at the fact he managed to see through me so easily. I’d tried so hard to suppress my emotions and I spoke in such a cold way that it even made my own heart shudder. But he saw through the act and even found it amusing. Maybe he’s just as crazy as me after all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>__ </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>We spent the rest of our days in Japan together exploring, discovering more of Eiji’s secret spots as we went. We didn’t speak any more on the night we spent in the theatre, but it was still on my mind. Even though Eiji has played it off like my words meant nothing to him, I could sense that they stung by the fact he was pulling away from me. He trembled under my embrace after that night, as if it made him uncomfortable. It pained me that I’d hurt him, this was exactly what I wanted to avoid, but i’ve realised now that it’s not my decision. I should stop trying to push him away and just enjoy the fact that he wants me. For once in my life, someone cares about me and isn’t trying to manipulate me for their own benefit. I deserve some happiness after everything right? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>We strolled through the city on our last night, it was dark outside, only the fluorescent lights of Tokyo and the vague glint of the moon lit up the shadows. We had an early flight tomorrow morning back to Manhattan so we decided to make the most of it. I gripped onto his hand tightly as we walked, holding on like I would lose him forever. His eyes went wide as I yanked him into the alleyway between the shops and we were suddenly hidden from public sight. I stood in front of him as he pressed himself against the brick wall. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He gave me a sheepish smile and looked into my eyes as he placed his warm hand on my shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tears began to well up in my eyes again as I spoke. Guilt and regret rippled through me. I told myself I was doing this for him, so that he could move on and live the life he deserved, but in reality I was being selfish. I was scared at how much he made me open up and be vulnerable, I was scared at how comfortable and safe I was with him, I was scared that he would leave and I’d be left in my own thoughts, spending every waking moment thinking about what I’d lost. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not okay. I was selfish, we’re supposed to decide these things together.” Hot trickles of salt came streaming down my cheeks as I placed my palms on the wall either side of his head and dropped my head to stare at our shoes. He pulled my head back up by my chin and made me look in his glossy eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It hurt to hear you say you didn’t want me but I knew what you were trying to do, you don’t have to protect me.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The air fell silent as we just looked at each other until Eiji spoke again, this time his voice sounded broken. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I forgive you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The tears poured harder as I gazed into his welcoming eyes. Tears of his own fell onto his reddened cheeks as he watched me let go of all my emotions. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me in a tight clutch as he slid down the wall until we were both sitting on the concrete beneath us, still enveloped in each other's arms. He nuzzled his face into my shoulder and planted a soft kiss onto my red flannel. I let out a content sniffle at the gesture, running my fingers through his silky locks at the back of his neck. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>We sat there on the floor crying into each other’s arms for a while. I could feel the heat radiating from his body as he held onto me. His warm tears formed a pool on my flannel as he leaned his forehead on my collar bone. I rested my chin on the top of his head so my tears trickled down and landed in his hair. I quickly ruffled the tear soaked hair on his head, before grabbing his forearms and pulling him up from the floor. His eyes were swollen and red and his lips were slightly parted as if he was out of breath. I planted a sloppy kiss just under his eye and intertwined my fingers with his. He flashed me a bright smile and squeezed my hand as we strode out of the alleyway back into the swarms of people. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>We remained in a comforting silence as we strolled along the path, just admiring the vibrant atmosphere of Tokyo and enjoying each other’s company. Everything felt so right in this moment, like I was finally experiencing what it felt like to be completely content. Eiji rested his head into my neck and gripped my arm with both hands as we walked closely next to each other. I could still feel that bubbling inferno sensation inside as a result of Eiji’s touch, but now the fears and worries of that consuming me, didn’t bother me anymore. I felt in that moment that any issue we come across in the future we can battle together. Eiji was the one person that could make me feel just that little bit less alone in the world and I loved him for it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you Eiji Okumura. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I felt an intense pair of eyes on me as I glanced down at Eiji to see him staring at me with wide eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit did I say that out loud. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, you said that out loud.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I felt my heart in my throat as I glared at Eiji with traumatised eyes. I quickly turned my head to look at the floor, doing anything to avoid eye contact as I felt the heat flood to my cheeks. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I- um- sorry- I didn’t me-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <span>“I love you too, </span>
  <em>
    <span>sweetie</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. rime</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>THE FINAL CHAPTER!! :))</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, this is the last chapter, I've been planning this ending since the start and it took me a while to get it right so hopefully you enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Eiji Okumura </em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>After years of loneliness and feeling lost, a layer of </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>rime</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> cascaded on my heart, getting thicker over the years. I grew cold from the emptiness that swelled in my chest. But then you came along, and melted it away with a single warm touch. My cold skin burned beneath your fingers, that layer of ice slowly drew away leaving nothing but fulfillment and comfort behind. The thought of losing you now pained me as it swirled around in the depths of my mind, eating away at me, forcing me to focus on it. Delving deeper and deeper, I found the cage in which my heart lies, a cage that you much to my delight held the key to. I couldn’t have chosen a more worthy candidate to handle the fragility of my tender heart that seemed to race at the sight of your dazed blonde locks that drowned out the blush of your cheeks. Staring into your jaded irises that threatened to wash me away into a tsunami of crashing green waves, it brought me more serenity than I ever thought an ocean could bring. The emerald green ocean of your eyes that glistened in the flickers of the early morning embers. I’d always known you were beautiful, Ash. But now that I’ve dissolved the hard shell you crafted around your heart after years of pain, your beauty means something totally different to me now.. It reminds me of the final tears shed before a smile. The hot breath on the back of my neck that sends shivers through me. It reminds me of the last glance of weary eyes before saying goodbye. It reminds me that no matter what I’m not alone.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you scribbling about?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I glanced up from my notebook, to see piercing green orbs staring back at me. I replied in a concentrated murmur as I felt an akratic smile force its way across my lips. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A tragic love poem.”  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh really? Can I read it?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Absolutely not.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not ever?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe one day.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And with that final statement he halted his queries, knowing that this conversation was going to get him nowhere. It’s not that I wasn’t comfortable with him reading my poem, I had nothing to hide, he knows exactly the depths of my feelings towards him. But something urged me to keep this personal poem locked away until the day came where I felt it was time to give him a written form of my devotion towards him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>We’d flown from Tokyo back to New York last week. Today was my birthday and Ash insisted on bringing me to his ‘special place’. So now here we were, laying in the green bristles that faded into sand overlooking the salted entity of one of the long island beaches. It was midnight now, so the beach was empty. We lay shoulder to shoulder in the sand, basking in the warmth of the still night sky. It’d been an </span>
  <em>
    <span>interesting</span>
  </em>
  <span> day to say the least, they surprised me with a party earlier and it was great and all but sitting here in the sand alone with Ash was by far the best part of my day. I never really looked forward to my birthday, I thought it was stupid to celebrate the day I came into the world. A day, </span>
  <em>
    <span>as dark as it sounds, </span>
  </em>
  <span> I wish never happened. But being here with Ash gave me hope. I turned my head to glance at Ash surprised to see his eyes burning into mine with a look of concern that made me quiver. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you okay? You seem a bit distant.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah I’m more than okay. I’m just thinking.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What about?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You, me,</span>
  <em>
    <span> us</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He propped himself up on his elbows staring down at me as I adjusted myself to meet his eye level. I stared at him confused as he sat up and continued to glare at me as if he was examining my every move. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t answer my question and instead he leaned in to kiss me, smacking his soft lips against mine. I reached my arm out to wrap around the back of his neck, threading my fingers through his silky blonde hair. He groaned into my mouth at my gentle touch, before bringing his index finger and hooking it through my belt loops. My eyes widened as he tugged on them, our lips still connected. My stomach was in knots as I felt the heat rush to my cheeks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How could he make me feel so flustered by such a simple gesture? </span>
  </em>
  <span>He slipped his tongue into my mouth, tangling it with mine. He released one of my belt loops, bringing a cold hand up to cup my cheek, tracing the pad of his thumb along my cheek bone. He brought my bottom lip between his teeth before kissing it lightly and then resting his forehead against my own releasing us from the kiss. I could feel his hot breath against my lips as we both gasped for air. He spoke in a raspy voice whilst grabbing my hand and interlocking our fingers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I quickly rose to my feet as he pulled me along, down onto the sand towards the rippling water. He kicked off his shoes and socks along with the red flannel that hung loosely around his arms. I followed his lead kicking off my shoes and removing my black jacket holding onto his hand tightly as we met the water. My body tensed at the coldness as Ash let out a girlish scream that broke out into a hearty laughter as he brought his attention to me. I found myself breaking out into hysterics as his contagious laughter infected me. We guffawed in the dazed glimmer of the moon holding hands before we calmed ourselves down. All was silent until Ash released my hand bending down to scoop a handful of water up. He gazed at me with a mischievous grin plastered across his face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t you da- Ash! Stop that!”  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He ignored my warning as he repeatedly launched handfuls of water at me. He kicked his foot which sent a wave of water in my direction drenching me instantly. My white shirt turned see through and clung to every crevice of my body like a second skin. Ash waggled his eyebrows at me suggestively and I chuckled at the sight as I watched him open his mouth as if he was going to say something but I interrupted by hurling my arms through the water and splashing him right in the face. He gagged as large amounts of salt water flushed down his throat, choking and spluttering at the unpleasant taste. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What the</span>
  <em>
    <span> fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> Eiji!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I tried to conceal the smug smirk on my face as he glared at me in frustration. He slowly waded through the water towards me, stopping when he was just a few inches from my face. He brought his lips to my ear, breathing a hot breath that tickled my spine. He purred into my ear, his tone distracting me before I could fully understand his words. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’ve really done it now. I suggest you run</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I stood gobsmacked until he released me from my daze, counting down from 5 before he chased me. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“5.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I sprinted away as fast as I could through the dense water. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“4.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“3.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit. Fuck!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“2.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I desperately pushed through the water towards the sand, hoping for some safety. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“1.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sprinted through the water towards me , droplets flying through the air and soaking his clothes as he marched towards me. Just as I reached the sand a strong arm stretched around my waist lifting me up and dragging me back into the water. I screeched in shock as he placed me on his shoulders so I was now at least 11 feet in the air. He wrapped his large hands around my thighs to keep me locked in place. He slowly leaned back in the water which made my heart drop in my chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ash? What are yo- stop tha-”  I let out a loud scream as he leaned all the way back, plummeting into the water with me still on his shoulders. Cold water crashed against my sides and back as I desperately tried to untangle my legs from around Ash’s head. He loosened his tight grip on me so I was able to float back up to the surface. As I opened my eyes, finally being able to breathe, playful green irises locked onto mine staring at me with a slight apologetic look. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell was that?! Were you trying to drown me?!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>My frantic questions only made a grin break out on his face before he exploded into a frenzy of guffaws, wheezing and bending over to clutch his stomach. I couldn’t help but laugh with him as he flailed around in the water in a fit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>__</span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was 3am now as we sat in the sand, our clothes no longer soaked through as they dried out quickly in the hot summer night. We’d talked for hours and hours about random things just enjoying each other's company, but now it was silent. I grasped his hand as he lay down, pulling it towards my lap as I sat next to him cross legged. I fiddled with his fingers, watching him flutter his eyes shut as the moon hung lowly in the sky. My thoughts drifted towards the future and what that meant for us. Even though Golzine was gone and we didn’t really have anything to worry about anymore, Ash was still a gang boss and he has responsibilities to his guys. I’d gladly stay with him and be a part of that no matter what danger it puts me in, but deep down I know I'm not cut out for that. I wonder if something happened to me if Ash would blame himself, he definitely couldn’t live with the guilt if he knew there was a way he could’ve helped and I would never want him to feel that way. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I felt his hand twitch beneath me as he removed it from my grasp and placed it on my knee giving it a gentle squeeze. He sat up and set his eyes on me, surveying me contently. He poked his finger into my cheek and I glanced at him without turning my head before smiling and exhaling an amused breath through my nose. I stood up and brushed the sand off of my clothes as I strolled towards the water again. I stared out at the disappearing moon as I sensed a warm presence behind me. He pressed his chest up against my back, nuzzling his nose into my hair. He placed his strong hands on my shoulder before mumbling into my hair as he planted a light kiss on the top of my head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stay there and don’t turn around until I say.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I felt the cold air hit my back as his hot presence behind me was no longer there. I could barely hear his footprints getting further away before they swiftly turned around and got closer again before they stopped completely. I stood still, confused, as I stared down at the dark water. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Turn around.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I turned around, confused because I didn't see Ash’s green entities before me until I felt a gentle tug on the cuff of my jeans. I glanced down to see Ash kneeling in the sand gazing up at me. He held a bright red hard candy ring in his grasp. My body tensed as I stood before him bewildered. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ash what are you doing?” I furrowed my brows, utterly confused as I lowered myself to my knees to meet his eyes. I cupped his hands with my own as he trembled holding the candy ring. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Eiji Okumura…” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I didn’t say a word as I was completely speechless. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Will you do me the honour of being my partner in crime?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He flashed me a toothy grin, sniggering under his breath. I returned the grin before shoving his chest back so he lost his balance. He flopped onto the sand, but quickly saved himself by planting his palm in the sand, never releasing eye contact. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You asshole!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that a yes?” He smirked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean…sure I guess.” I smirked back. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was silent for a few moments as we just stared at each other. I laughed as Ash shoved the candy ring on my finger before giving it a suck. He then lifted his head again to meet my gaze.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Does this mean I can read your ‘tragic love poem’ now?” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And they lived happily ever after...</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welp that's a wrap on chapter one. Hope you enjoyed, I'm new to this so if you have any tips or comments then lmk I'd be glad to have a few helpful notes.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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